Wednesday, March 3, 2010

while I was sleeping

Of late, I've started believing more in my postulate that the mind is always super-creative and outrageously wierd while I'm sleeping. If nothing, my dreams are always indications of that.
Okay, so it gets pretty amusing at times when I wake up from a nice-ish dream and can recollect it.. but it takes its toll on me to wake up with a splitting headache after a nightmare, n desperately trying to drift into a half sleep, trans mode to somehow try and 'fix' the nightmare, if you know what I mean.. (yeah I'm a sucker for 'happy endings')

Guess what's latest at the dream front? I've been out on a date!
Guess with whom? With John Abraham! *beaming from ear to ear*
Okay, granted, I don't quite have the hots for him. But I've been a fan of him since Dhoom-2. Dhoom-1, you want to correct me? No dahlings, I'm talking of Dhoom-2 only.. It took a Hrithik Roshan to make me realise that nothing looks better on a bike than a John Abraham. Since then, he's been one of my fave eye candies among the Bollywood duds.( no, no.. that's no typo either. The 'e' is missing on purpose)
Plus, he's half-mallu, just like me! tadaa! yeah go on, call me a racist, if you will!

Ah, I'm digressing always, just like my nightmares.. so, back to my dream..

Guess where we went to?
We went for a date at a chaayakkada (the mallu cafe) in some pattikaadu (the mallu outbacks) in God's own country (the great Malluland).. yeah right..

boy! what do I tell you about the rendezvous.. sigh.. (now now, all you drooling ladies, please take a break and close that leaky mouth of yours.. salivating women in front of laptop monitors dont make a pretty good sight. so, easy! there..) I know, I know, you can't wait to know how it was to get Up, Close and Personal with Johnny boy.. Patience, ladies.. patience..

He was extremely chivalrous, thoughtful and sensitive, immensely caring, desperately trying to please, talked in cute-ish broken Malayalam, and in totality was boring to the hilt. I mean really really. He even volunteered to fix my smudged eyeliner.. which was like ugh!! now you know what I mean! It was such an excruciatingly painful and suffocating ordeal, that I couldn't even gulp down my super sweet chaaya.. and while he was busy working on that eyeliner effect, I was busy making informed choices between having that steaming yummilicious puttum kadalem and making some excuse and running out to catch the next KSRTC bus and get the hell out of there!

My mind is such a malicious one, you see.. just when I thought I got a break from those frequently recurring nightmares of being handed out the pink slip by my last reporting manager and me accepting it as detachedly and unaffected as always, with that eerie uneasiness.. I get to go out on a date with John Abraham, and it had to turn out this way!
Life is unfair, I tell you.. Very unfair! Sigh..

PS: Bipasha Basu, you can please keep your Johnykkutty for good. I'm not interested. Huff! *rolling eyes*

*chaayakkada - teashop
**puttum kadalem - heavenly foooood!!
***KSRTC- Kerala State Road Transport Corporation


  1. Hahaha o ma...... that was a totally hilarious post...... :) taking john 2 pattikadu 2 hav puttum kadalem.. john wud hav definitely loved 2 hav a dte with u..... :)

  2. Sigh he used to be "my man" a long time ago till someone showed me the Basu and said she's got the ring.

  3. @Cris: aww.. hearty condolences. That must've hurt! :P

    yeah ryt, when you crave for puttum kadalem on a Sunday morning, and the nearest Mallu restaurant is that stinking dirty Kairali, you've sworn never to set you foot in again... sigh..

    Cris, girl, I think we should catch up sometime for a Puttum Kadalem breakfast in Thiruanthoram. err.. if you are also a puttum kadalem person, that is.. :)

  4. @Cris: when did you disappear from orkut? :O

  5. Puttum kadalem is indeed heavenly food! :)

    Your post reminded me of a dream I had about Hrithik Roshan and mind you I am NO fan of his! I blogged about it 'On a Tuesday Afternoon' :P

  6. @shail: really? heehee..
    will sure go check that out!

    Thanks for stopping by! :)

  7. this is ultimate creativity :) u shud surely go back to ur sleep :)

  8. @sandeep: I know! sadly though, creativity has wrong timing in my case!

    go back to sleep for what? to be in such miseries? :/ if only life was easier I wouldn't have minded it though. This is like "falling from boiling oil into fire"! sigh..

    @Arv: yeah, it sounds kinda stupidly funny now.. though I can't quite describe in words how painful it was while I was at it! :P

  9. Hi Usha,
    Din't you try to fix the ending then?? :-) Hope you will like my fix-script:
    You start running for the bus and Mr.Abraham starts to chase you on his bike. You get terrified and start running faster with Abraham sir trying very hard to race his bike to catch up with you :-)) and you collapse. Then enters Mr.Bachchan jr.; arrests and puts Mr.Abraham in jail and tries to wake you up. Then you wake up.... and...... well, you woke up ha ha :-)

    -Sundar (Sunitha)

  10. @sundar: lolz!! they are going to woo you for writing Dhoom-3 script now!! :D make sure you strike a neat deal unlike our Chhota Chetan! :P

    well, honestly, I was too glad to be out of there to have bothered about the fix. Atleast, I din't have to break the poor guy's heart. The only regret is about having missed the Puttum Kadalem.. sigh..

    But hey, did you mention the Bachchan li'l one? Nyoo!! That will be like double torture!! Hmm.. btw, why not make it a Milind Soman? There, now that's what I call a happy ending. How nice! :)

  11. @Usha: Hey, i can modify my script to fit in the Puttum Kadalem as well!! :

    As Mr.Milind sir was trying to wake you up, the waiter from the chaayakkada comes running to you and says "Madam, here is the Puttum Kadalem parcel; you forgot to pick it up" :-))

    -Sundar (Sunitha)

  12. Am going to blogroll ya! You and Hamish are perfect follow ups (and sometimes even better than) to Dave Barry (from Miami Herald)...

  13. @hatikvah: *swoon*
    how kind! A beeg Thanks! :)

  14. I decided to go anti-social for a while ;-)