Wednesday, August 19, 2009

Falling out of Love

The inevitable. Happens to even the most faithful of lovers, and how could me, lesser mortal, be spared? and so, I decide once and for all that I've seen the end of my two decade long love affair with Maggi. Yeah right, 'Everyone's crazy about Maggi'. So was I. It was a relationship I've long cherished, and tried my best to spice up our love life with roasted chilli flakes, oregano, and at times, even green chillies and black pepper. Nothing worked. Finally, I had to let go. sigh.. Why do all good things have to end? :(

Dunno, guess it's in the air.. yeah I know H1N1 is what's in the air... but I'm talking of something else. Something's making me fall out of love with too many things, at once. :/ I withdraw my support as a faithful loyalist to Imtiaz Ali movies too. I thought his movies could never go wrong, and he gleefully proves me wrong with his 'Love Aaj Kal'. I mean, I'm surprised how could he get it all so wrong? It's like the penne pasta salad I tried out at Sweet Chariot, the other day. bits and pieces of everything. but something was wrong. No salty olives. No mayonnaise. Too much of tomato ketchup..
So was this mish-mash of a movie, with a pinch of Jab We Met, a dollop of DDLJ, a sprinkling of Socha Na Tha, an overdose of Punjabi tadka and some mindless confusion to taste.

Why oh why, make a Sardar out of a Saif? He's got to have something against Saif, or something against Sardars. Really. Mebbe a Sardar stole his last girlfriend and this was supposed to be his sweet revenge? I shudder to think that this was the same guy who made us sit up and marvel at his langda Tyagi and Cyrus (of 'Being Cyrus'). He probably thought he could pull off another HumTum by playing a dumbass in the 'Aaj' part. Hmm.. sad for him.
And for the Padukone lady, the least said the best. Actually, I hoped she would also talk less, just like the shy Brazilian beauty. Her squeaky lines made me squirm. She reminded me of Anna Susan Jacob of 3rd grade when she used to read out passages from text books. So monotonous, so begging me to go to sleep, while I fight it out to stifle my yawns and try to keep my eyes wide open.

And that brings me to 'The proposal'. There was a time when I could swear by one of our bollywood / hollywood love stories, and here I am, a Sandra Bullock loyalist, coming out watching the movie, feeling like I just woke up from an afternoon nap.

The only relief was 'The hangover'. Thumbs up! in fact, Double Thumbs up! Hollywood always presents us the bestest of thrillers in the vein of horror/mystery. but a comedy thriller? Awesome, I say. I've been watching the good old, 'I know what you did last summer' series back to back for some much needed 'thriller' kick off late, and here comes this whiff of fresh air. Awesomeness.

Kaminey's good, they say. I'm yet to see that to believe it. Well they even said 'Rang De Basanti' was a cult movie. I walked out feeling pukish after that ordeal. Though I am really skeptical whether I do deserve to really punish myself to sit through a movie with Shahid boy doing a double role, after stomaching Saif's double role torture. I mean, all that the boy does is to switch between that silly long face which he makes and the cute-ish smile (which I appreciate 'coz it reminds me more of his Mom, and the good old Doordarshan days). But I'm intrigued enough to go watch it. I hope there wont be more of falling out of love to follow.

Another somebody I almost fell out of love with, was 'the' Rakhi Sawant. (Yes, the 'The' is intentional here, and not the after effect of living in North India, where they have to, have to, prefix every noun with 'The'. It's an obsessive compulsive disorder most of them suffer from. But I like them, they are nice people. They even called me "The Usha Dhanraj", which was like a wow! moment for me. :O ) I'm off the tellytube addiction, and am doing pretty good at that, but there was too much of hoopla around this swayamvar thingie, that I had to, had to, go check it out online. And boy! just give it away to the lady for taking good advantage of all that prime time footage to go justify herself and get herself a clean image chit. I like this girl! I've laughed with her, I've laughed at her, but I've always liked spunky women like her. Why? They're so different from me and most of the women I know. One has to have a certain flair and flamboyance to pull off such a mooh-phat image with an attitude to complement. No, I won't agree with you if you call her cheap trash. No, Ma'm.. not every other wannabe can come up with killer lines like her 'jo bhagwan nahin deta, woh doctor deta hai' and 'jo dikhta hai, woh bikhta hai'. Show me a bollywood scriptwriter who could come up with originals like that! Though it was increasingly difficult for me to warm up to her new 'coy' avtaar, and her rather ermm.. tasteless outfits, but sab maaf for the plucky woman. Though honestly, I hoped it's all just a farce and that it isn't real as in Really Real. Gawd! I genuinely wish no woman has to go sifting through a bunch of assorted dumbheads like that, to find a spouse. No, not even for that most conniving, backstabbing, nightmare of a woman I knew back at work. *shudder*

Well, that's as much of bi*ching I had to do for now, I guess. (Sigh! what a relief) I'm pretty much at peace with most of life, as of now(Or so I believe).

Until I fall out of love again, Ciao!


  1. hahaha..quite a post...though yet to see kaminey..i say amen to awssum movie!!;-D

    damn i am missing so many things...but i always bet on the second part for a rakhi sawant swaymavar!!;-D

  2. Thats quite a post.
    Im still hungover from Hangover..yet to see Kaminey..and falling in and out of 'like' of Rakhi Sawant..:)

    And Maggi..the least said the better

  3. Maggi still satisfies my hunger wen i am too lazy to cook anything fancy :)

    'The proposal' aint good? i was thinking of watching it :(

    downloaded kaminey. havnt watched it though.

    no comments on The Rakhi.

    wow, looong post! :) have fun and before you fall out of love again, try something which wud aweeee u with more love :)

  4. Its hard to fall out of Maggi :( Ain't it?

    Nice post, btw :)

  5. ROFL @ "The Usha Dhanraj" and here I thought I was the only one who was getting the wow moment all the time.

  6. wow what a post.. were u in some movie watching marathon or what? n u found so many to fall out of love..
    u sat n watched Rakhi Sawant episode too? I salute thee "The Usha Dhanaraj" :)

  7. @mathew: hehe. they say they're gonna do rahul mahajan's swayamvadhu next. he's no less an "item" either, if you ask me! :P

    @jina: yeah, same here.. even i was going on n off about her, of late. but i finally made up my mind that i like her, though she irritates me a bit here n a bit there. atleast she's harmless! :)

    @sawan: i've switched to waiwai. that more or less makes up for the void maggi left. sniff sniff..
    'The Proposal' isn't bad at all.. I just found it lukewarm, nothing too exciting. worth a dekko anyways. :)
    Lemme know how you liked 'Kaminey'!

  8. Wow !

    But you dnt like RDB ??? Oh Please yaaar !

    and all those lines that Rakhi uses Jo Dikhare ta hai woh bikta hai and all are plain bombay slangs yaar ! We used it all the while !!

    "Jo Hazir woh Vazir" next time Rakhi uses this, u know that its not an orginal ok ? :o)

    Cheers !

  9. @soorya: yeah, right! it was sad. i mean, really really. but we have to move on, right? sigh.. such is life! :P

    @seema: hehehe highfives!! :D meanos we are, no? ;P

    @dhanya: *sheepish grin* sometimes, it feels nice to say mean things like "hullow, i don't like you, or your so called great piece of art! to hell with you! hmmph". so there you go! :D
    btw, i did fall in love with somethings too in this while, like this restaurant near your place. laters!! :)

  10. @santosh: wow! yeah, poor us non mumbai peopleses dont know all those hifi slangs and all you use, yaar.. btw, thanks for the enlightenment! halo, halo.. where art thou? please come n sit on my head! i'm enlightened now, you see! ;P
    On a not so silly note, i believe it's got more to do with in what context she used those lines, and how she stood up to it, than the lines per se. I had written a post on Mallika Sherawat, a few years back:
    Somehow, not many manage to see the point in their case, anyways! :) It's always easier to sneer at them, and call them trashy and downmarket. Peace! :)

  11. oosha dear! That was something!
    Gee I am still so much in love with Maggi I am actually trying to fall out of love.

    And does Anna Susan Jacob read this blog? :D

    Boy you are some serious movie critic. I would ask them to hide my movies from you when in future I act - cause of course the movies havent been through enough - they need my entrance for the final fall :p

    Loved your writing the Usha Dhanraj! Missed it!

  12. aiyo. i will fall out of love with maggi as i grow older a? one more reason to not grow old

  13. So it was the season of falling out of love! I hope a season of falling in love will follow this.

  14. @cris: Missed you too!!! Where are you these days? Come back, come back!! please! :)

    @rukmani: hehe.. reminds me of this saying.. something which goes like, we all have a measured amount of rice destined for our life. mebbe that applies to maggi too! :P

    @bindhu: so sweet you are, girl! :)