Wednesday, May 13, 2009

why do we look back in life?

Sometimes, I look back in time and wonder..
where was I an year back?
what have I been doing then?
what were my thoughts then?
what were my plans then?
what were my dreams then?

Today, I peeped into my e-mail inbox to look at those one year old e-mails.
And I cried.. howled into my pillow.. and wept like a child.

There are some moments in life, we never want to let go off..
and hold on to it, even if it's just supposed to be a withered memory, like many others..
but there's always this urge to think it's real..
like walking into a framed photograph, and living a life in there.
(Incase you are wondering.. No, I'm not Schizophrenic. Not yet. Honest! :) )

Introspection is one thing, and living in the past, another.

How often do you look back in life?
D'you like doing that? Why?
Do you think it's a good idea to do that?
Or should we just look ahead and do our best military march?

21 comments:

  1. I dont know why... but this post makes me feel nostalgic of my childhood days :)

    take care mate... cheers...

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  2. hmm...i have a policy of remembering the good things...am not sure our life is worth holding on to unpleasant or painful memories...once you do it too often every time you meet a new person or you want to do something new the bagagge of the past weights you down....just my feeling...i think many might say...'you should not forget lesson learned from the past and all'...but at EOD too short a life to be slowed down by a past tugging your legs as you move forward...

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  3. saw ur comment at mathew's spark.and i agree.
    will come back to read more of urs.

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  4. I also have the habit of holding on to past memories.. But mostly it's the good ones that I relish and it always brings a smile back to my face.. Photographs, old mails, greeting cards, letters , autographs all are my time machines to go to the past :)

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  5. Yeah dearie...we all do that once in a while. I too walk down the memory lane and try to live my past and feel helpless when I realize that I cannot turn the clock back. But its always good, if you let go your past.

    Its good that you had a good cry...you must have felt lighter after.

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  6. Came across a nice quote - The time is now, the place is here. Stay in the present. You can do nothing to change the past, and the future will never come exactly as you plan or hope for.

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  7. @Arv: :) Thanks.

    @Mathew: 'too short a life to be slowed down by a past tugging your legs as you move forward' - true!!
    I'm going to tell that to myself 10 times today! :)

    @Sree: Welcome! :)
    and thanks for stopping by!

    @Dhanya: Yeah.. apparently, good memories were the culprits yesterday. Times that seemed too good to be true, too fairytale-ish, which just flickered in front of my eyes and disappeared before I could even realise. I felt like I had to go get into it, and live through it a li'l longer.. till I had enough and could comfortably put it into my basket of contended happy memories. Sigh. I don't know how much sense I make, though! :P

    @shalu: :) Look who's here!! :)
    Yes, I guess all the crying and melodrama helped, though not the resultant splitting headache. Wonder why the crying protocol is always suffixed by this headache nonsense?! :|
    I never seem to quite learn the art of 'letting go'. Sometimes I think I'm close to it, and then, bang! it returns! Sigh.
    I'm going to google for 'Tips for selective memory loss'. hmmph.
    Thanks for sharing the quote! :)

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  8. i sometimes do.. but not intensionally, still when it comes it makes me sad.. to miss all those fun..
    i dont knw if i like it or not, though they r happy memories, they make u sad now..

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  9. smehw, i can c myself relating to u.. i dont even go back to 6 months.. I am worried, even rite now, i am worried wts gonna happen after one yr, i am worried abt losing the frnds i hav now, i am woried abt the time stop spending time with them. I worried wt i wil do, if the ppl i love move away frm my life... etc etc..... i am worried, y my life is like this, that i cant plan anything, that nothing is in my hand, that wtever comes to my life, i hav to accept it... well wt a dilemma we hav 2 face..

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  10. hi usha

    Good to see your nostalgic thoughts. I am one second went back to my golden old days. But i dont open my mail ids but i used to open my poems and songs. Sometimes i think about the situations related to the song which i hear now and then.

    anyway, thanks for your writings.

    All the best and keep posting.

    urs
    m.velu

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  11. Yes we get a nostalgic feeling when we go back to our past and look at things. There would be some things which you feel could have happened otherwise, but looking at the present we realize ' Whatever happens, happens for good' . Cheers

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  12. Agree with you on "Introspection is one thing, and living in the past, another". It's nice to remember good moments in the past. Remember the past only to deal with it and not brood on it. :-)

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  13. @amal: exactly.. some happy memories actually make me too feel so weak at times.

    @devil incarnate: you said it! it happens with me too.. sometimes, during those too-good-to-be-true times, I've found myself worrying about things like:
    is this for real?
    how long will it last?
    how would I deal with it when its over?
    and before I realise, those times would be gone, n I
    wud be left wondering, why didn't I live upto it while it lasted either.

    @velu sundar: there's some silly magic-y thing about nostalgia, right?

    @ hari krishnan: it all happens for the best, indeed! :)

    @bindhu:'Remember the past only to deal with it and not brood on it.' -thanks for writing that, bindhu. I need to keep that in mind!

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  14. There are at least three types of "nostalgia" for me.

    I think about the cheerful, fearless, worry-less days. Such nostalgic trips do not usually leave me in a good state of mind for the next few minutes. I go from normal mode to "Damn! I wish I stayed young" mode.

    Whenever I feel that I have stagnated in life, I try to remember how I was a few years ago and compare where I was and where I am. This usually turns me from my "Bang my head" mode to Normal mode.

    The only irritating type is though I might believe that I have completely erased my "mistakes from the past" folder in the brain hard disk (Silly embarrassing things mostly), the mind has a rare knack of reminding them at the most inappropriate movement :-)

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  15. Usha,

    A quick general summary of how each soul lives in Life. Good Stuff.

    There are many ways of looking at this concept of Past. Here are my views.

    (a) Look into the past to see what mistakes you did.

    (b) Look into the past to cherrish the good times you enjoyed.

    (c) Look into the past to learn.

    (d) Look into the past and do not live there.

    (e) Its human to carry the past on your back. But remember to move in a faster pace, so that you dont get delayed from reaching your goal.

    (f) But remember, past also contains a lot
    of good things you have come accross and wish to cross them again.

    (g) Do not, I repeat DO NOT, try to forget the past, as it is Impossible to forget the PAST, even if you wish to.

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  16. looking back at life is definitely not a crime. but yes, the looking back should be only to observe, not to think over it.

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  17. Because the PAST is a very imp part of our PRESENT and FUTURE too. Tho ppl say forget the past, it's not that easy to discard it. Cos we r made of that very past. And the mind keeps a cellular album of it all that u cant easily throw away.

    Keshi.

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  18. @Eswar: hehe.. I know!! those silly stupid moments where we royally end up making a fool out of ourselves. Embarassing moments have a way of sticking to our mem cells, I guess! Me too squirms when they pop up in my mind, when I least want them to! Hell, I never want them to come back ever! :))

    @Ferox: quantitatively looked upon, they all look so uncomplicated and easy, no? :)

    @sawan: darn! if only it were that easy to tell our minds what to do, and what not to!

    @keshi: true, past always has a contribution towards how our present and future shapes up. If it were not for what we learned, we wouldn't have become wiser, ever.
    Thanks for stopping by! :)

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  19. I know everyone tells you to stay away from past, but I would never say that. Life wont be life if you could just live everyday and forget all that happened until then.

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  20. Its ok to travel back into life ; Just that we should remember not to bring back any lugguage with us when coming back to the present :)

    Cheers
    Santosh

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  21. @cris: hmm.. so true!

    @santosh:
    unwanted, unwelcome baggage from the past.. yikes!
    i try losing it, but it finds its way back to me, thanks to the name-tag on it. mebbe, i need to remove the tag, first!

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