Tuesday, July 29, 2008

happy birthday to me!

Three decades of existing, surviving, living on the face of Earth..
laughing my lungs out.. crying my heart out.
working around things at times, working through things at other times..
holding on.. giving up.
giving in.. fighting it out.
innumerable smiles, hearty laughs, many a grins, quite some frowns and the occasional spell of gloom.
finding countless miracles in everyday events, bumping into angels packaged as friends..
loads of love picked up along the way like those surprise sea shells along the beach..
betrayals that taught some harsh lessons..
many gains and quite some losses.
ecstatic times, moments of agony..
the blessing of having a wonderful life support system called family..

It's been a blessed three decades. Thanks to God for being so kind to me.
Happy birthday to me! teehee!

ps: btw, does anyone remember this ad of some energy supplement capsules called '30 plus'? Jeetendra used to jump all around and advertise it on Television while I was still in my teens. The jingle's been ringing non-stop in my head since the past few days. :|

And the award for the most thoughtful wish received so far on this birthday goes to P, for his: 'Birthdays are good for you. Statistics show that the people who have the most live the longest :)'

Monday, July 21, 2008

sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks

'sometimes I guess there just aren't enough rocks'
- as Forrest Gump said it.

I wonder if one can ever get even with anything or anyone by getting back at them, for it can never be enough.
Forgiving, I believe, is the most 'positively' selfish thing to do. Not because it makes me feel saintly, but because that's the only way I can be at peace with myself.

Saturday, July 12, 2008

the week that was...

turbulent. bittersweet.

7 hours of shop-till-you-drop with a couple of new work-friends. Absolute bliss. Peer influence: ended up buying a couple of dangling ear-rings (not at all my style, but that's what you end up doing when you wait on girls spending a neat half-an-hour sifting through trinkets).Loved it, though.. surprisingly. The upside of spending that much time there is that, friends dont have to do their usual 'ding dong.. see my new ear-rings!' ritual to me anymore. I've started noticing them involuntarily and complimenting. Happy friends. :)

Su and me bought a pair of 'pink' floaters (yes you heard it right, I never thought I'd get pink footwear even in the wildest of my dreams.) again, loved it. As M says: 'ladkiyaan pink pe phisalti hain' :P Now we both look like 'kumbh ke mele mein bichhde hue bhai.. ermm.. behan?'. ok, wotever!

Best part about going out for food with Kannadiga friends: tried Akki Roti and Mangalore buns. A must-have-tried-atleast-once thing, if you are in Bangalore. Su, thanks for introducing me to such yum food.

Got to hear an interesting perspective on keeping a cool head while driving through the maddening weekend traffic in Bangalore, braving the honking and cursing. M, you amazed me, girl.

Realised that having friends at work is not exactly a myth afterall! Also, that shopping could be a good workout too! Talking of workouts, Achievement #1: I could get the chakrasana thing right, at the yoga class. It just came so naturally. Mebbe it's all in the mind, afterall. Almost sprained my neck though. But happy, nonetheless.

Nosy teammie strikes again:
Me (bloghopping to keep my sleepyhead awake post-lunch)
Nosy teammie: So Usha, are you looking for guys on the net? OR Are you looking at your guy online?
Me: What a thoughtful question. Thanks for asking. :|
I again wonder: why do the nastiest of nosy gossip mongers always happen to be men?

Another teammie met with a road accident. Happens to be a woman this time. Pandora box thrown open at the pre-team-meeing pep-talk. Battle of sexes on women's driving skills on the road. Sat with a calm bakte raho attitude. Realised I'm not that enthu about debates anymore as I used to be back in school. I no longer give a damn about anybody's POV unless they come try to tamper with mine.

Saw through another Black Friday at work. Axing jobs time. Saw a couple of nice people leave. One grows numb to it after a certian while. Disturbing it is, nonetheless. Learnt again that not caring anough is good at times.

Also, saw someone's well camouflaged truth coming out. You wont even be able to make out that they are lying through their teeth, because they very religiously start believing in their own lies after a while. I tell myself again: People are way too complex, anyways.

Scooter's silencer gone bad. Went around riding it for a day, with sound effects like that of those porukki dudes with their silly excuses of bullets. The next time, mebbe I won't frown at them as I usually do.

Went and got my hair chopped a good 8 inches. Liked the look. Tad too disheartened about the length of my crowning glory, but then it's perfectly in tune with my current mode of dumping excess baggage.. emotional, physical.. then why spare the hair?

Monday, July 7, 2008

The Giant Wheel

It scares me.
It makes my heart beat faster than I never knew it could, and brings it to a standstill that I feel I'm no longer alive.

A long time back, someone shared this secret with me, on enjoying the ride on a Giant Wheel.
He said: breathe in when it goes up.. hold your breath while you are up there, and breathe out when it comes down.

A good 11 years later, I got onto a giant wheel again, on impulse.. well, to be honest, the reason I got into it was that, it was the tiniest giant (kindly notice the irony) wheel I bumped into, in a real long time! :P
I did exactly what was advised.. and I did have a joy ride.

What I realised this time around is that, the Giant wheel trick applies to Life as well..
1. Breathe it all in when the good times come.. hold on to them while they are there.. and just breathe out the tough times.
because the giant wheel will always keep turning no matter what, and it's better to have a good ride while you're at it!
2. Be wary when something takes you on a high too fast, 'coz before you could realise, you'll be let down from a height, as fast as it took you there!
3. Whatever goes around, comes around. Also, whatever comes around, goes around.

on a not-so-philosophical note:

Why am I talking about giant wheels today?
This is an eerie incident that happened last week.
And today, it's another nightmare.
I wonder why they are called joyrides, afterall?

Anyways, now that I'm in the 'getting scared-and scaring others' mode, lemme share one of my most dreaded nightmares.. [the roller coaster video clip from Final Destination 3]
Njoy! *evil grin*

Thursday, July 3, 2008

so, what changed your life?

I've been going through one of those metamorphosis phases in life. Things happen, take you offguard, sweep you off your feet before you could even realise, and thud! your are thrown down with a bang.. and then you pick yourself up, brush off the dust, nurse your wounds, think over it, promise yourself to be more careful, and without realising, end up altering your life and outlook towards it to an extent. Most of the time, this metamorphosis happens without awareness..

And then today, someone at work just caught me offguard: 'Hey!! Good Morning. So Usha, WHAT changed your life?'
Me: 'umm.. well.. ahem.. ??!'

Change is good.

other updates: went to the Infant Jesus church today, after a real long time. Experienced 'peace in chaos' for one more time. Loved it.