Saturday, June 28, 2008


That's exactly where I was a few months back..
Miserable, and in denial mode after being pushed in to committing to something I've been running away from, for more than a decade now.

My certification exam voucher's validity was till June 30, and as any typical adiyal bachha, I was just putting it off to the (n-2)nd day. Actually, I realised I'm better off, as I just bumped into quite a few folks who put it off to the nth day.. I'm proud of you, my buddies!! no, really!

So, I've been making real honest efforts to get out of my mental block, you know..
Tried several silly tactics to trick my brain into learning it.
One of them was to go learn something I've always wanted to, so that I could balance it with something I've never wanted to learn.. n so, enrolled myself for the Guitar classes.. It was super fun. Though a few 'Bonnies' and '500 miles' later, I had to take a break from it.. (no, not forever. I'm definitely going to get back to it sooon!)
After the carrot trick, it was the turn of the stick.. so I've been putting off all those short trip plans, the very inviting trekk plans, postponing meeting up with all my lovely dost log until after June.

But in spite of all this, like any typical loser, I had 101 excuses to put off the preps for until the last couple of months.. and then, suddenly life went topsy turvy at all fronts possible.. and here I am, at the last one week of my deadline, with another couple of very important deadlines coinciding with the same.. and for toppings, the 7 year itch at work. wow! how better could that get!

But I'm not a loser, Am I? The countdown showed 2 more days to go, and I decided to pull up my sleeves, and go for it. Result? I got the certification and made it with a clear 75%. yay!!
It might not be a great score, but for someone who was so unsure about clearing the test, this definitely is like an icing on the cake!

I might have cracked tougher tests and fought tougher fights, but this success is soo soooo special to me, for its perfect timing.. This is exactly what I wanted right now for a kick-start.
Gee.. I can't stop grinning today!

I can't remember the last time I rode through Brigade road, with the crawly Bangy weekend traffic + the messy Bangalore rain, and still crooning away :

Have a super duper week ahead, people!! :)

PS: It would be unfair if I don't give due credit to Mummy's prayers.. God, really.. how d'you always listen to her prayers and not mine? well newys, as long as you listen to hers, I'm fine with it! :)
One beeg hug to Hem for putting up with all my dumb quirks and being my guardian angel, Anubha for pinging me with all the study materials, Dimples for all those memory tapping tricks she taught me a decade back. Suni, for re-kindling my trust in the 'power of mind' and Meg for that line: 'I want you to stand up and fight'. Su, Shals and Lalit, for being there for me. Love you, honeys! muah!
errmmm.. okies, that sounds more like an award speech.. well ahem.. kindly excuse, peopleses. I just got carried away.

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

When somebody shoot you in the head it make you think

The lesson I've been trying to learn over and over again (and still learning) is that quickfixes never really solve any problem. Workarounds are just about turning a blind eye to the issue. So people, when I said having an ice-cream could cure me of a cold, it was just a quickfix. The cold monster is back again with all its might and for once I've decided to let it have it's way and don't play around it with my self-medications.

Yesterday, I went home with a heavy head and a heavier heart, and watched a movie, though the title wasn't too appealing for my state of mind then.. 'I love you to death' . 1st scene, 1st shot, was a pizza. So there we go craving for our favorite 'Saas bahu special' pizza from Sweet Chariot's.. (People who haven't tried that, please do.. again, a quick and easy way to clear a congested nose! :P) and top it up with a couple of mocha cakes..

The movie is a dark comedy.. A queer one.. It's hilarious in a certain way.. More to do with the way the story is told and is enacted.. the fake Italian accent.. and the underlying sarcasm.. A good watch for a tired weekday evening.

Why am I blogging about it anyways? Because I liked a line in that which I would like to quote in here:
'When somebody shoot you in the head, it make you think'
Very true, no?

Thursday, June 19, 2008

The 'I' factor

Tadaa!! another 'tag' time!
Dhanya just passed on this tag, and I was more than happy to take it up.. When one is facing a bloggers' block, tags are the best things that can happen to her.
It's more of an 'I, Me, Myself' one, and I must confess it wasn't too easy doing it, as it seemed at first.. So, there you go!!

I am: blessed (touchwoood!!)
I think: rationally (how I wish i could suffix it with 'always'. sigh!)
I know: not much.. there's always more to know!
I want: to dig my teeth deep into a sinful chocolate eclair.. slurrrp...
I have: my sanity intact (no, really! tee hee)
I wish: I could have a pair of wings to fly around.. but i have my own functional specifications for them, though.. they should make no regular fluttering sounds.. well, will that make me a bat-woman then? a vampire? i don't need no blood, though.. only chocolate for me please, thankyou! :) geez.. that sounds like fun!
I hate: deception.. infact more than deception, I hate it when I let myself be susceptible to it. You know, times when your conscience winks at you and screams 'gotcha!!'
I miss: my brains.. They've been out on a short Carribean vacation.. come back, my sweeties!! you are being missed.
I fear: getting lost and not finding my way back.. so, I carry a bundle of rope when I scale unknown terrains.. but I just realised that there could be some saddistic mice along the way.. so next time on, I've decided to carry some rat poison too with me! (no, silly.. i don't have suicidal tendencies!! )
I feel: liberated
I hear: I hear thunder, I hear thunder. Hark ! Don't you? Hark ! Don't you? Pitter patter raindrops, Pitter patter raindrops, I'm wet through, So are you ...
I smell: hot popcorn.. flavored with freshly ground pepper n chilli flakes..
I crave: for some harsh sunlight..
Light so bright, that it could help me turn blind.. for a while.
Heat so strong, that it could burn my skin so bad and nothing else hurts more.. for a while.
Energy so high, that it could charge me up fully.. for one whole lifetime.
I search: with my specs on my nose.. I've turned myopic this April, you see!
I wonder: how it would be to live in a fairytale.
I regret: not taking the risks I should have... and taking the risks I shouldn't have.
Though I wouldn't really like to acknowledge it, and convince myself that I shouldn't really regret.. For all those actions shaped me into this person that I am proud of.
I love: my individuality. I also love to be one among the crowd.. be one unknown entity in there.. Does that make me self-contradictory?
I ache: to realise that nothing can be taken for granted in life.
I care: less. I wish I could care lesser.
I am not: a superwoman.
I believe: in impermanence.
I dance: when no one is watching.
I sing: when I feel like screaming.. (it's left to your imagination, how it sounds!)
I cry: when I feel helpless
I don’t always: cry.
I fight: for righteousness.. I also fight when I'm misinterpreted or misrepresented.
I write: perfect nonsense.. which somehow makes perfect sense to me while i'm at it!
I win: when I make up my mind to win.
I lose: when I know winning it would actually make me a loser.
I never: say 'always'.
I always: say 'never'.
I confuse: faith with trials.. (weird, i know!)
I listen: to erratic melodies.
I can usually be found: busy at my laptop. (boring.. i know!)
I am scared: of losing myself.
I need: to read, to travel, to explore, to re-invent myself from time to time. I also need my loved ones, my peace of mind and my share of jadoo ki jhappis.
I am happy about: the fact that I never let anything or anybody steal my happiness for a long time.

And I tag:
Macadamia girl


In other news: gotto watch the SATC movie. I tell you girls, it was truly therapeutic.. go watch it with your girlgang, I say! I went with my sis, to get over my cold.. oh yes, btw I just realised that good company and a movie like that, while having fruit salad with ice-cream can actually cure one of a very bad cold. no, really! :)

Friday, June 13, 2008

lost and found

Losing oneself, is the biggest pain one can endure...
and the ultimate bliss of all, is to reclaim oneself from one of those recycle bins..

Lessons learnt:
1. Never do a Shift+Del to one's own convictions, ever!
2. Recycle bins are Godsent. Say a quick 'Hail Mary' for them! :)