Tuesday, March 11, 2008

This is Bangalore, Madam!

It's been an year since I moved into this new apartment. Which is good otherwise, except for this cumbersome annual activity known as 'Renewal of Rental Agreement'. Not at all a pleasurable activity, considering the fact that you need to do a hell lot of negotiations all over again. The landlord of this apartment lives in Dubai who comes down to India once in an year to visit his family (or to update Rental Agreements, I'm not too sure!)

He hands me the new agreement.
He: You can give me 150 rs. for making the new agreement. You can sign on the agreement and keep it to yourself.
Me (thinking): so kind of you *smirk*
He: We will keep a copy of the agreement. You sign, no?
Me: Let me read, no?
He: Madam, we are genuine people.
Me: I know, btw, you have taken off the % of rent hike for the next year. And have replaced it with this tricky, 'will decide on mutual consent'.
He: Madam, we will be fair. we can decide later, no?
Me: why don't we decide that now? like we did last year.
He: Madam, this is Bangalore. we can never predict the rents for the next year. you know, it may increase or decrease(!!)
Me: exactly my point. This is Bangalore, not Dubai. And we are talking about house rents, not the stock market, you see?
He: No Madam, you see, the guy next door just signed it!
Me: The guy next door pays you 20% less than what I pay as rent?
He: No, No, Madam, that house is not compliant with Vaasthu. And it has a smaller bathroom.
Me: And a bigger hall?
He: What difference does 2000 rupees make these days, Madam?
Me: Oh, in case you did not know, it does. We get paid in INR, not Riyal, you see?
He: What if we write 15 or 20%?
Me: Then I will have much time to find a better place for a better price. Btw, dint you just say that you are fair people?
He: Madam, you see the new building which is getting constructed on the other road. They are planning to charge 30% more than this.
Me: Folks who stay across the road pay 50% less than what I'm paying you.
He: OK, we will think about the % increment and let you know.
Me: And what's with this notice period of 2 months? Ideally it should be 1 month, no?
He: but Madam..
Me: This is Bangalore, Sir. We get notice periods at the offices here for only one month.
He: But, this is Bangalore, Madam.
Me: Thanks for telling me. I thought this was Vellarikkaapattanam! *Eternally grateful smile*

13 comments:

  1. hahahaha..that last retort sealed all..

    i think all landlords in big metro or upcoming cities say this..

    'This is XYZ..you know!!'

    as if we were aliens who didnot live anywhere else before.

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  2. Oh so sad. Thank god I have a good landlord who wants everything to be proper and documented.. He is very strict about that. Explains why I haven't shifted for the last 8 years :P

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  3. How true!! will soon go thru the sead ordeal in a month's time...

    and ya my landlord is in Kuwait (not a mallu :D)

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  4. @mathew: yeah, exactly! it's more like, 'you, moron! where d'u think you are?'

    @dhanya: whoa! 8 years?! I feel most of them folks are way too smart, just like the techies.. jobhopping, which'll fetch them better paypacks. And for the landlords, it is tenant-bhagaofying in every couple of years so that they can get new desperate expats, whom they can loot even more!

    @nikhil: oh well! good luck, dude!
    and btw, even my landlord is not a mallu! funny, no? whenever we talk of someone working in the middle-east, we just assume that the person in question is a mallu, unless mentioned otherwise! :)

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  5. Lol! What frauds! I've noticed that the slimiest character is the one who always goes, "I'm a very honest man! I always speak the truth"

    Rrigh! And I'm Pete Sampras!

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  6. Woo! Woo! *jumping around in IPL cheerleader costumes rooting for Usha*

    You go girl! Aint such lovey dovey landlords just the thing? ( to take you for a royal ride, that is)

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  7. "Jesus Christ" this is really crazy!
    Btw Usha! you seem to be a good negotiator :)

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  8. @anju: know what, I'm actually a sucker at that! The landlord increased 15% anyways for the next year, I still pay 20% more than my neighbour, but the only good news is that the notice period is reduced to 1 month now.

    I try telling myself that it's what I would need the most as I'm anyways planning to move out of the place in another year..

    Sigh!

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  9. ROTFL @ vellarikkapattanam...
    i should thank my stars for my landlords.. i dont even hv a rental agreement done... adn he *never*asks for hike in rent.. last time whn i asked him, belive it o not, he told me ot give 50 rs extra per month... and i insisted and started giving him 250 rs extra per month...

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  10. @xh: really?? reaalllly?? you mean to say, landlords like that exist in Bangalore??
    Guess what they say is right, miracles DO happen!! :)

    Thanks for stopping by to comment!

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