That was the day when I got my 3rd semester results.. n realised that I've flunked royally.. So, what's the big deal? Afterall, it isnt worth an Engineering Degree, if you havent had a chance to go through those Arrears/Supplis.. but hey, I was someone least convinced.. it was my first "failure" to speak of.. and at that age, I really did not know how to handle failures..
What made it even painful, was the way in which some of my hostelmates tried to pacify me.. you know, we were all kids, and as much as we did not know how to handle failures, we didnt know how to really console someone either..
That was when Ancy walked up to me.. she was someone who knew me from my pdc days.. my first hostel roommate.. though we did not hit it off too well as roommies first.. after an year, we were roommates again.. n I can never tell you, how special a person she's been to me since then..
It was easy for me to open up with her.. It still amuses me that my biggest concern then was what will everyone around think of me? my teachers.. batchmates.. etc.. I've got those godforbidden supplis! My parents must be feeling very bad for having got a daughter like me (!)..
She wasnt one of those girls, who would just wipe away my tears n tell me not to cry..(had i been at her place, mebbe i would have done just that!) She just told me: "usha.. to hell with the people, and what they think.. they are not going to write the exam for u.. they are not even there to help you.. they are simply nowhere in the picture.. the only thing, i feel you should be concerned about is that the suppli exams are coming your way along with your current semester exams , and that you have hardly a month to prepare yourself for it, along with your lab exams n stuff.. so u see, hardly any time.. this isnt the time to worry about what people will think.. this is the time to get your act together, n be very serious about it!"
the first time in my life, I got to see my goals very clearly, sifting it from the unnecessary distractions.. it pays to have a laser vision of our goals during foggy times..
Ancy, I can never thank you enough for your words that day.. I wonder if you ever realised what a magic mantra you just gave me then..
After a decade now, whenever I go through times which makes me wonder about what will someone else think, I know exactly what I should do.. not that I dont try to understand their perspective, but it helps me stand by my decision/perspectives as well with conviction.
Reminds me of this line which I came across sometime back.. something in tune with: "We spend a lot of money, which is not ours, to buy things which we dont need, to impress people whom we dont like!"
Guess that's what happens when one gives a lot too much of weightage to log kya kahenge/sochenge?
I've always loved this song, for that simple reason..