whose land is it, anyway?

Some Maharashtrians are totally cross with the bhaiyas. "So what if you too contributed to making the place what it is? Now that all's well, and Mumbai's become the land of opportunities, we'd like to thank you for your services, and ask you to vacate the premises ASAP. Oh yeah, we know to push and shove too, if need be."

Someplace else, a bunch (very small -thankfully!) of Kannadigas feel they've been shortchanged too."We need to reclaim our Bengaluru", they say.
A young educated lady, who's come back from Pune to Bengaluru, and works for an US based MNC (notice the irony) spits fire at a meek Malayalee salesman at a grocery store in Madiwala. "How could you work in a shop in Karnataka, and say that you don't speak Kannada? If you want to talk in Malayalam, go to Kerala and do business, okay?". And she triumphantly describes her valiance to her Mallu colleague who smirks, scheming in her little evil mind, about posting this interesting piece of acidic office banter at her blog. ;) (*)

Meanwhile, there's this bunch of woeful men in Mangalore, busy deciding and designing the new spring summer collection of women's wear for the Indian Woman of 2010. They kick started their ad campaign, rather fashionably at a local pub. And if media reports are to be believed, women all over India are so ecstatic about it, that they've been showering the team with their choicest pink under wears, and lending a lot of support with their handpicked caustic words. Latest on that was that they are busy recruiting designers from the best Fashion schools across India. The company somehow is untraceable after the Elections though (not-so-surprisingly).

At the other end of the spectrum, some enlightened people have made up their silly li'l minds, that fighting over religion is so passe. It's so 20th century-ish, you know. Welcome to the 21st century, we fight in the name of castes. Its so much more fun. For starters, we have more number of castes in the country, as against religions. And then, to add more fun to it, we also have divisions on the basis of languages, states, political parties, and sometimes, for the heck of it, we even do subdivisions in all these, just for the sake of variety. We're a very colorful bunch of people, you see.

In separate events across the country, religious leaders have started noticing a new worry line on their foreheads (God save their foreheads!). They are just realising that they've overlooked something while they were busy fighting with other religions and sorting out those petty caste fights within. This, now, has led to the outbreak of new hybrid sects like 'Hindu-Christian', 'Muslim-Brahmin', 'Parsi-Sikh', 'Bengali-Punjabi', 'Bihari-Maharashtrian', and some other more innovative combinations.
This implies that there will be new interesting sects to fight with.. which of course, is exciting them to bits. However, the low side is that these combo names are all so confusing (and tasteless too. -they maintain), and secondly, the followers of these sects are such dimwits, they don't even like fighting!
"I mean.. what's the fun!! What if all the pure breds convert to these hideous combo religions! What will that bring us to? The whole country will become so boring without religious and caste feuds, which incidentally happens to be our main source of entertainment besides cricket and politics, of course."

But hey, in case you are wondering whether we do feel like a country, like ONE, ever, then yeah!! what were you thinking of us? We feel proud when our national anthem rings, when we witness the Wagah border parade, while we do those candle light vigilance acts and... uhmm.. and.. err.. etc, etc. you know..

Remember our show of strength irrespective of political standings, region or religion, while we displayed our majority disgust against possibility of a woman of Italian descent's ascent to the Prime Ministryship of India?

No No. Don't you take us for some narrow minded, prejudiced bunch of people. We do get selectively broadminded too, like when someone of Indian descent becomes the Prime Minister of Fiji or the Governor of a US state. See?

So you see, we don't always discriminate in terms of caste and creed and region. Especially when someone from here, wins an Oscar award, he's no longer a Muslim or Tamilian or Malayalee. He's an Indian. You follow?

Now, we don't understand why the new US president is so rest-of-the-world unfriendly when it comes to letting us, smart outsiders work in their country(**). And now there's Australia which bashes up our people. We dont understand what's happening to the world! Why are they so intolerant? Why isn't their government doing anything? I mean, why are the people so unfriendly afterall?

And that too, to us, Indians of all the lot. We, the most tolerant people of all (specifically when we are outside our country). Rather, you should be thankful, we are gracing your country with our esteemed presence. You understand? We, who have actually invented and practiced the art of Racism, since time immemorial. You might find it amusing to know that our country's whole social structure was based solely on Racism. Now you know! We think it's high time we get "Racism" patented, before you guys get it also done like that infamous Basmati rice patent. Huff!

=======================================================================
(*)Mostly, the original inhabitants of these cities are refreshingly cosmopolitan, which really helped the cities grow into what they are now. The people who have issues now, are mostly people from within the State, but outside the city, who are desperately putting up an effort to reclaim it, without realising that the city has long outgrown it's status of being just another State constituency.

(**) I wish he had better insight to realise that in a world which is truly globalised now, it is not practical wisdom to try and implement such a short-sighted approach.

when life gives you lemons, make lemonade..

...and when life gives you the chills, go drive some zambonis!







You find nothing too funny about it?
On a regular day, I would've just chuckled over that too..
Though I roared out laughing, today.
And nodding my head vertically (which I realised isn't all that comfy to do, when you're banging your head on the wall too!)

Random conversations with random friends these days have been along similar lines.

Random Friend: What's happening?
Yours Truly: nothing much.. having fun playing games.
RF: what games?
YT: trying to make happen, things that are not happening. And trying to resist things that are happening.
RF: Over Head Transmission!
YT: (As if I know what Im talking!) Same here! :D no wonder we are friends, eh? Same pinch!
RF: (WTF! She's lost it!) Sweety, all well?
YT: :D :D :D I'm smiling.
RF: Honey, You're GRINning.
YT: :| (Lesson learnt: Don't over do things, stupid!)

RF: Hows job hunt going?
YT: No progress. Market's real bad, I tell you.
RF: I feel you are hiding behind this recession facade and not looking out seriously.
YT: (Yeah, as if I'm being paid to do that!) You think so?
RF: Yes. You should be more serious.
YT: hmm (Ah, so that you can advice me to take it easy, then.)
RF: Look out more aggressively.
YT: mm hmm?(Yeah, the delicate darling that I am, need to be told that! *smirk*)
RF: It's been sooooooo long!!
YT: sigh! yeah..(As if I dont know! I keep counting days for heaven's sake! And typing mistake: so doesn't have that many 'o's)
RF: How long are you planning to sit at home?
YT: err.. (??!)(Am I living on your expense? Just, am I?)
RF: Why don't you take help from others?
YT: (yeah, the world is full of philanthropic people, who are always looking out to help others, when they get some time between worrying about their own friggin lives, and making life difficult for others around them. How could I not have realised that? Silly!)
YT: Yeah, mebbe you are right. So thoughtful of you. And I appreciate your concern. Will keep it all in mind. Thankyou! (and burst the poor li'l thing with all that crap! No, Thankyou!)

RF: What do you keep doing?
YT: (Like no one took a vacation or a day off from work ever! What do I do? What do you think I do? masturbate all day? #@%@$%$@!!)
YT: oops! You sound like a manager interrogating her billable staff!! :P
RF: No, really.. what have you been upto?
YT: Guess what, I learned to swim!
RF: wow! that's good.
YT: I know, it's better to use times like this to learn some life saving skills.
RF: Yes, I guess (WTF?)
RF: hmmph. What else?
YT: Planning to re-join my guitar classes. I left that mid-way during the last oh-so-important product update release.
RF: Oh! good.
YT: need to find a good place where they can help me with vocals too.
RF: nice! what else?
YT: have been planning to join a dance class.
RF: mm hmm? (I'm envious of her)
YT: I figured out that there's a Belly Dancing Institute nearby.
RF: Wow! belly dancing?! how exotic!
YT: yeah, its all about investing time into some life saving skills, you see.

There!! Right there! I see them giving me the same look as Marcie's.
And I can't stop laughing since I saw this cartoon strip in today's newspaper.
Talk of life saving skills. One always needs to be prepared, you see!

Btw, "Laughing" is one, incase you didn't realise! :)

Image courtesy: Times of India, Peanuts.

There's this video link which I incidentally bumped into.. Belly dancing never looked anymore cuter!
courtesy: Youtube

why do we look back in life?

Sometimes, I look back in time and wonder..
where was I an year back?
what have I been doing then?
what were my thoughts then?
what were my plans then?
what were my dreams then?

Today, I peeped into my e-mail inbox to look at those one year old e-mails.
And I cried.. howled into my pillow.. and wept like a child.

There are some moments in life, we never want to let go off..
and hold on to it, even if it's just supposed to be a withered memory, like many others..
but there's always this urge to think it's real..
like walking into a framed photograph, and living a life in there.
(Incase you are wondering.. No, I'm not Schizophrenic. Not yet. Honest! :) )

Introspection is one thing, and living in the past, another.

How often do you look back in life?
D'you like doing that? Why?
Do you think it's a good idea to do that?
Or should we just look ahead and do our best military march?

Honestly, I swear.

YAY!!
Guess what, my blog gets its first award ever!! *Drumrolls, please*
Yeah I know, I know.. I've also been taught that bragging isn't a nice thing to do and all that. But hey, for a change I'm asked to brag this time, thanks to Dhanya for sharing the Honest Scrap Award with me, and its a li'l more special to me, considering the fact that she's a friend whom I've met up with, after knowing each other through our blogs first. Thanks, Dhanya!! I'm all flattered to know that you still find my blog, honest! :P


“This award is bestowed upon a fellow blogger whose blog’s content or design is, in the giver’s opinion, brilliant.”

“When accepting this auspicious award, you must write a post bragging about it, including the name of the misguided soul who thinks you deserve such acclaim, and link back to the said person so everyone knows she/he is real. Choose a minimum of seven (7) blogs that you find brilliant in content or design. Or improvise by including bloggers who have no idea who you are because you don’t have seven friends. Show the seven random victims’ names and links and leave a harassing comment informing them that they were prized with Honest Weblog. Well, there’s no prize, but they can keep the nifty icon. List at least ten (10) honest things about yourself. Then pass it on!”

Now for the 10 random 'honest confessions', lemme start it off with the first dishonest / untruthful act of my life, which I can remember.

#1>> At 1st standard, used to rank among the 1st 5 of the class in academics (also in naughtiness quotient) for the 1st two terms in a row. During the course of an year, my naughtiness quotient had taken over my academics, and when I was given my progress card on the first day of 2nd standard, I was ranked 14 in my class. (I never made it to the first 10 ranks ever during school after that, except for twice. Yes. Talk of consistency!) I had no clue how I was going to present this news at home. So, initially, I tried leaving the progress card under the desk and just walked away, hoping the cleaners would just sweep it away. But no, the teacher called me back and gave it to me. I tried dropping it in the corridor, hoping eeryone would just walk all over it and destroy it. But again, someone called me back and gave it to me. I was running out of time. I had to get rid of it somehow before Papa came to pick us up from school. And then it occured to me. I went into the playground, where the kids were all playing and dropped it for good.
I never got to hear about it ever.
I told my parents that I did not get the progress card, somehow.
They must've guessed. But they never taunted me ever about it, somehow.

#2>> Now for a so called truthful act, which I'm finding silly to even state here. But then, there has to be a balance in everything. So here you go..

When I was in 8th std, there was this inhuman and queer rule of not allowing the students to talk in any language other than English, within the school premises. Agatha Christie wannabes from 6th std, used to be let loose by the nuns in the playground, during lunch times. These shady beings would hang around those wide tree trunks, behind the stairs, lurk around the sweet stall, and catch the seniors red-handed in the act (of talking in Malayalam, that is). I was caught once by one of these school sponsored detectives. I had to give her my name and class info. Post lunch, these self proclaimed detectives, used to walk into classrooms with a self important air and call out the culprits from their callsheets, to be produced before the nun in charge. That day, when I was produced before the brain-behind-the-plan nun for punishment, I saw there was only another accused in there, along with me. Apparently, everyone else gave wrong names / wrong class info / a combination of both. I had heard about it, but was lazy to think up something anyways.
The good part was that, the nun was so mad at the rest of the girls, and was so overwhelmed by our honesty, that she literally hugged us. Me and my co-culprit, just winked at each other, while we grinned in utter disbelief. We also made an under-the-table pact that none of us would tell anyone about it, or else we'll be called the stupidest beings alive on the face of Earth.
Yeah, Honesty wasn't a cool thing to do at schools, even then.
Laziness was common. But there was no point in proving our laziness, after the nun had stamped us, "Honest". hmmph.

#3>> I claim that I am brave.
Though during some real difficult and trying situations in life, like a roller coaster ride or a giant wheel, or even a kid Boo ing unexpectedly to scare me, I end up screaming "Mummmmyyy...."
Pretty embarassing that is.. especially with the kids! :(

#4>> I'm good at debating. Even when I know I'm wrong. I don't actually fight. I just state my logical arguments.
It's more like this, implies that, which means this, which is the same as that, which is equal to this. So this = that.
People who don't know me, get confused.
People who know me, just give up.

#5>> My tastebuds have seasonal preferences. I don't like the same kind of food all through the year. Even if it's chocolates. The only exception is : Poppins.

#6>> I was oblivious of the process of procreation, till I was 18. My hostel mates had the last laugh at the harrowed and disgusted look on my face, when one of them took the pains to explain it to me.
I really hoped that was a nasty prank they played.

#7>> I like running away. I have done that stunt quite a lot of times. I do other things to escape something else, and people end up thinking that I was brave enough to do it, while in reality, I might have been just running away from something, anyone else could do. It doesn't always happen that way. But it's happened quite many times.

#8>> I like talking. Nonsense. (The full-stop in between is supposed to be silent. I'm supposed to be honest, you see!)

#9>> I still maintain I'm very girlie, except for when I go out anytime during the day, you'd find a 2 litre bottle of water in my backback, rather than sunscreen and make-up for touch-ups.

#10>> I was so pathetically slim during my adolescent days, that on the last year at college, one of my classmates told me that I should be the last person worrying about an occupation, as he thought, lookwise, I would make a convincing beggar.

Now for the 7 blogs, I would want to share the award with:

Seema - I've found her blog, and her words very true to her heart, and could always connect to what she's talking about.

Div - A lot of depth in her words and thoughts. The USP of the blog is that, it all sounds heartfelt.

Cris - Fresh and Real and Friendly and Honest. I like going back to this blog.

Now, for some bloggers, who probably don't know of my existence. The ones, whose blogs I have been ghost reading for a while. I go back to their blogs and read them, but mostly won't have anything else to say, other than nodding my head vertically, or swallowing that lump in my throat, or smiling with tears welling in my eyes, or just grinning away.

Shefali

eyememyself

Random Chick

Nisha

Thanks for blogging, peoples! :)

pot pourri

It's been a comparatively happier and happening couple of weeks, now.. the best part being that I've really started to take things lightly, as against 'talking' of taking things lightly.

The second being my eureka moment when I discovered that I really really like being around boring people. Boring, going by the general public perception.. but I like them more, probably because they are as boring as me, which makes me feel more comfy with them!
I realise, the so-called interesting people end up boring me after a while.. mostly they have no depth.. and whatever is there to them, it's all at-your-face kind of thing, which can be quite a put-off. At the same time, I find the apparently boring people, more interesting everytime I get to know something new about them!

And thirdly, the realisation that the bestest of my long-time friends happen to be people with whom I have absolutely nothing in common.. no same view-points / thought processes / ambitions / aims / likes and dislikes. What binds us together is a whole lot of respect, unconditional support, unrelenting love and total faith in each other. And they also keep my interest levels in them healthy by sharing their view points, most of which are different and thought-provoking for me.

hmm.. It's as though I've got a summer vacation all set aside for some self-discovery. Well, whatever!

************************************************************************

Sankey Tankey!!

That's what I call the most loved lake of the city... Re-discovered the place again a couple of weekends back for a happy happy evening stroll.. The thing about this place is that it's totally worth the 10km ride, what with Bangalore traffic police's idea of toggling one ways for fun, hiding around corners and then jumping at unsuspecting drivers for added adventure.

Malleswaram is just as charming as ever. If you happen to be one of those unlucky few who is yet to experience this part of the city, then please do check it out!
Incase you don't have friends there, carry a copy of this blog-post by a die-hard Bangalore enthusiast blogger. I swear, I carried a printout of this, along with an Eicher city map and my sister (it's always better to experience good things in life with good company).

Btw, did someone notice the waterspray-screen ad that the Aircel folks have put up there? Some awesome show! For the not-so-tech-savvy's: It's this technique of using the good old projector to play video on to a screen created by water-spray. The results are more spectacular than what it sounds like...


...err.. or what it looks like in the pic, for that matter!

And whoever said man-made lakes are boring?! For one, Sankey Tank always reminds me of another one of them, beauties..

The Sukhna Lake of Chandigarh..
Feeding ducklings on a pinkish blue winter morning..
Late evening strolls with good friends, munching on channa choor..
And even that bizarre late evening walk with a bunch of team mates, when a couple of horny stray dogs decided to indulge in some PDA along the walkway some 20 feet right in front of us, much to the horror of the whole team struggling to maintain their professional decorum and walking as though the dogs were non-existent..
The whole situation was so hilarious, it was tough to suppress the urge to laugh my head off, which almost had my eyes welling up with tears.. to which one of them chauvinistic guys in the team gave me that smirk, which said "silly sensitive girls.. anything is enough to outrage them enough to cry! I hate this species!" :))

Somehow the dogs in Sankey Tank seemed not-so-sexually-active types, and I even found one of them indulging in some serious moral policing, harassing a harmlessly coochie-cooing couple.. I thought I almost saw some sene badge on him! Gawd, Bangalore is really going to the dogs, or what? :|

************************************************************************

Happy Ugadi!

Ugadi was nice this year, what with me getting to taste the Ugadi pachhadi for the first time, thanks to good friends Suni and Sundar. For regional harmony's sake, we even got them some Ada-pradaman, which somehow turned out to be the bestest compared to our earlier trysts with it. (The secret to which, was some generous use of bananas + simmering the jaggery syrup a bit too longer, just before it reaches caramelisation.) Sundar wasn't around at the kitchen, as he thought there were already too many cooks to spoil the lunch.. but he did make it a point to tell us that he usually helps Suni in the kitchen, so that I don't haul him up at my blog for mis-treatment of wife. Sundar, we solely trust your word at that and be nice to you just for the fact that you praised our ada-pradhaman! :D

Wish you all a very very prosperous new year peoples! Belated Ugadi wishes! :)

************************************************************************

Splash!

As an 8 year old, I shrieked at Papa's idea of sending us to a summer camp to learn swimming. "What are you saying? I am a big girl now.. Can't wear something skimpy as a swimsuit and go learn it with the guys! huff."

Now, at 30, I'm going to do just that, minus all that drama.
All of a sudden, I find myself worrying about a 101 things like
#what if I turn out to be hydrophobic or something!
#what if I drown in the pool and no-one realises it.
I'm contemplating on exchanging my black swimsuit to something more bright and visible, so that I'd be saved, just in case!
#will I puke if I see some gross looking big burly flabby man in a swimsuit? aargh!

Nonetheless, I'm all too excited about it, and boasting around that it was worth the wait to learn as I'd be learning from an Olympian, and all! :P

************************************************************************

What's the movie tonight?

I got to watch 'Straight' the other day. Light, nice, comfortably boring, and disappointing to an extent, as one feels it could've explored more possibilities and gone a bit too deep, what with an actor like Vinay Pathak to pull it through. But unfortunately, it didn't. I'd still vote for a one-time dekko. I did catch myself laughing quite many times in between. :) If you liked Parvati's other movie, Rules, then you might like this as well.

For a while, my fave bollywood hero's been Farhan Akhtar, but that's before he started acting. Sigh! I found 'Luck by Chance' disappointing considering the hype it created, and thought Konkona was the only saving grace. I kinda liked 'Rock On', but thought he did a better job at showing off the fact that he's been working hard on his body, than acting per se. Anyways, for me, he's moved out to make way for Vinay Pathak now. Isn't he adorable? Right now, he's placed half-a-point above Abhay Deol on the scale. :)

Talking of movies, the one I'm excited about right now is 'To Harihar Nagar'. The 1st part had us in splits, and I really really hope this sequel lives upto it!

I'm very skeptical about 8X10 though.. I just can't bring myself to imagine that Nagesh Kukunoor can make an action thriller.. somehow! :| I've liked his other movies for their sensitivity and simplicity. So.

update: I watched the movie, and I found it good. Good change from the Abbas-Mastaan thrillers we're used to. Though there were many bloopers and loopholes in it.. more than I can count on my fingers. Why do makers of Bollywood thrillers think that we are morons?

************************************************************************

In other news, I've been getting really really serious about studies, what with me spending a comfortable 6+ hours on it very diligently, without getting bored or bugged up. And I'm surprised at how smartly I've been fooling myself all this time, that probably I'm getting too old to study!

Hema thinks, chuddy buddy Dimple could be the reason for me taking it seriously, and I wouldn't contest it, as she's proving to be the most motivating remote manager I ever worked with. I'm submitting status reports, and having 1:1s twice a week now. (Yes, I'm serious) Good friends can be great task masters too. And who's complaining, anyways?!

Also, the recommendation of the week is Commercial Street. I hung around the place two days in a row, last weekend, and didn't get bored a bit. On an afterthought, have you ever heard any girl talk about getting bored out there? Nah, me neither! ;)

Have a lovely week ahead, peoples! :)